Solo Dolo

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Wow, your sister was almost abducted. The most important thing you have to say is, wow. That's not how we should start about a story where I was almost abducted in Mexico. Like, that's not a good opening for a podcast about solo traveling, not if you're promoting it. [00:00:20] Speaker B: If you're looking to spread fear, it. [00:00:24] Speaker A: Might be a good topic. Well, hey, everyone, I'm Isabelle Esteves, and welcome to everyday above ground, where we're talking life and the opportunity to live every single day like it's your last. So today I thought I would catch you up and kind of sell you on the idea of solo traveling. I think oftentimes people are fearful of solo travel, myself included. I did not start solo traveling until this year, and I've already taken two trips to do it. And so I thought it would be nice to just kind of share what that is like and why I think it's important if at least once in your life, more than just a few days, more than just trying a few restaurants or going to get a pedicure as part of self care, you take one good solo trip all by yourself. And I think it's important for me as I think about, and I know I harp on this a lot, but really, unless it happened, I don't know that I would even do all this. But as a friendly reminder, I got dumped at the beginning of this year. And my initial response and thought was like, well, I was hoping to travel with this guy, but he could never really travel. And now that I come to think about it, I always really wanted to travel and see the world. And I just keep doing this thing where it's like I wait and I wait and I wait for people to be able to do it with me, thinking that I couldn't do it by myself and have fun with myself. The very first trip that I took was to London and Paris, which, you know, he dumped me. And then one day later for Valentine's Day, I'm like, you know, buy myself a solo trip. And to be honest, it was more to run from something. But I also learned a tremendous amount about myself on that trip. I gained this new level of courage to just go out into different countries and experience it all by myself through my own lens, doing whatever it was that I wanted to do as many times as I wanted to do it or not. And it really just opened my eyes to this idea of, yeah, as part of self care, especially if you're someone like me, you're taking care of people all the time. It's nice to just step back and take care of yourself. So once again, I've asked him. I've asked my brother to collect questions, and I asked him not to give you general canned questions about solo travel. But I thought it would be good to just take some questions and open your mind to the idea of traveling by yourself. Doesn't have to be some super long trip, but I do highly, highly recommend, and so reluctantly, I am going to turn it over to my brother for his questions. [00:03:51] Speaker B: Question number one. [00:03:53] Speaker A: It's so formal this time. [00:03:55] Speaker B: What is the common benefit of. [00:03:57] Speaker A: Well, you just totally, like. You don't even care. We're so formal. Okay. My brother and I are at odds. He doesn't even want to be friends with me anymore. This is sad. All right, question one. [00:04:11] Speaker B: What are the benefits of solo travel? [00:04:13] Speaker A: I said not general questions. And I told you if you ask me that question, that I was going to beat you down in your freaking ten gallon boots that you didn't even wear today for that purpose. Next question. [00:04:32] Speaker B: But seriously, out of just some unconventional wisdom, what do you think is the most surprising or unexpected benefit you've personally experienced from solo travel that most people wouldn't anticipate? [00:04:47] Speaker A: The most benefit that people don't anticipate and I think are often fearful of, is this idea of being all by yourself. And I think it's actually a good thing. I think it gave me time to really just sit and process and think through things that I was stuffing down and trying not to deal with. And so it was interesting when I was walking around or when I was in stores or at markets, I would just kind of have these thoughts, and rather than trying to push those thoughts away, I just sat with them and I thought about them and kind of while doing other things. But I think it just gave me an awful lot of clarity that I was seeking while also still in the midst of having fun. So I would say that is like, for me, the number one benefit is just this idea of reconnecting with yourself. There were times on that trip, on both trips that I've taken, where you do so much for so many people, when you really, really get the opportunity to step back and say, wait, what do I want to do? What do I want to do? What does fun look like for me? What do I want to eat? There's something so freeing about when you're out there. You eat whatever the hell you want. If you want sushi three days in a row from the same restaurant. And this is true story. I went to London. I ate the same dessert three days in a row. I was, like, so embarrassed. I was going in there with different sunglasses, like, don't judge me. I'm here for a third day. Give me your dessert and let that be that. But you have the freedom to do that, and it almost takes you, like, a day or two. That's why I suggest don't just try to do a day trip or whatever, spend a few days, because it's almost like you need to get acclimated to. [00:06:54] Speaker B: Yourself because you can't really avoid the fears that people would have for it. Just getting to the initial sense of the fear factor of it, can you share a specific fear or apprehension you had before embarking on a solo trip? So you're probably your first one for London and how overcoming it changed your perspective on solo travel. [00:07:17] Speaker A: I actually think I had a little more fear on my second one that I just completed going to Cancun, Mexico. As I said in the first one, I was really trying to run from something this time. I intentionally went by myself. My brother and a couple other people are like, oh, I'll go with know you can go to Mexico. But I intentionally chose this time to go by myself. And once I got to the airport, I was a lot more nervous than that first time when I got on the plane to go to London. And I think part of that fear was like, what am I going to do with myself for the next six to seven days? What if I get lonely? What if I get lost? What if something happens? And there just had to be this moment where it was like, I don't know what's going to happen. I didn't even have a hotel booked until I was getting on the plane. I didn't have any activities. I didn't have nothing planned. I just went out there, like, all willy nilly. And I'm glad that I did because I'm a person that likes to be rather controlling and have a routine and plan things out. This trip, taking it and not having any of that and kind of throwing it out the window was very scary. But in order to get over that fear, you have to have an action behind it. And so my action was like, okay, I don't know where I'm staying. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what time I'm going to have. I don't even know what the weather is going to be. I'm just going to go in whatever it is it is, and I'll just figure it out along the way. And to me, that was just so fearful, yet so empowering when I got on that plane anyway and just did it. [00:09:10] Speaker B: I think people should talk a little more about how it's not advisable to make your plans as far as hotel stays and all that. [00:09:20] Speaker A: Why? That's what priceline and hotwire are for. Like roll the dice. [00:09:25] Speaker B: I guess if you want to be. [00:09:26] Speaker A: A gambler, you could plan everything out. But there was an added level of excitement of not really knowing and just kind of figuring it out along the way. [00:09:38] Speaker B: You think there's a benefit to that when you're thinking solo travel. [00:09:42] Speaker A: Just as far as adding excitement, it's just freeing. It's freeing because in the moment when you plan everything out, sometimes you may even think like, okay, I'm going to go. You can have a rigorous schedule. I'm going to go on Tuesday. I'm going to have sushi on Wednesday. I'm going to have mexican food on Thursday. I'm going to eat this and have all your activities planned. But there's something so freeing about not planning and saying, wait, do I really want Mexican on Thursday? Do I want sushi again? Yeah, I think I do. And so there's something so freeing about that to kind of just make these decisions in the moment rather than planning everything out. You certainly could plan everything out, but there's just this added level of freedom when you literally in the moment are doing whatever the hell you want to do. [00:10:41] Speaker B: How does solo travel contribute to personal growth and mindfulness? Can you share a transformative moment that occurred during one of your solo journeys? [00:10:54] Speaker A: As part of that first trip I took by myself, I made a decision midweek in London to head to Paris, at least for a day. London was one thing because for me personally, London was like a cleaner, more organized version of New York. So it felt, even though you're across the pond, it felt very much like the US. When I got to Paris, that was incredibly overwhelming because I tried to take Duolingo and learn some words, and the only thing that Duolingo taught me how to speak French wise was dog and pizza. There are dogs and pizza in Paris, but it didn't get me anywhere. And so there was this bit of overwhelm when I got off of the train in Paris, the strikes were going on in Paris. People were not as helpful and friendly as they were in London. And so there was just this absolute moment of panic that took over, like anxiety and overdrive, that, holy snap, I am in a different country. I don't speak their language. I'm trying to get to this market just outside of Paris. How am I going to get there? What is their train system? It's not like back home where their system is still a little bit paper based. And so you can't just go on an app and buy a ticket, like, you have to do it at a counter. I got on a bus thinking I could just pay, and I didn't have their currency, so I couldn't use their cash. And I was just regretting it. I was like, oh, my gosh, you know what? I'm going to get off of this bus. I'm going to go back on the train. I'm going to go back. Like, this is too much. And then when I was on that bus in Paris, an older woman who did not speak a lick of English was trying to help me. And even though we didn't speak each other's language, she ended up giving me one of her tickets so that I could stay on that bus. And then there was just this moment where it was like, I'm going to be okay. I'm very smart. I can figure this out. Just take a breath. This woman's kindness has already helped me tremendously. I'm going to figure this out. And I did. I ended up getting to the market that I was trying to get to, got some amazing vintage jewelry. It was just a beautiful vintage market that I went walking around in. It was just such a game changer as part of that trip to know and believe in myself that I could do it, even though I didn't speak the language, even though I didn't really know where I was going, that I am smart enough to figure this out. And I did. [00:14:07] Speaker B: What's a misconception, you think about solo travel that you've encountered or just traveling in general? And how would you think that your own experience kind of debunked it in sense of what I was thinking just right there was, you have this misconception or just knowing or saying that french people don't like Americans and that you have this experience where you meet a local, and she's very helpful to you, no matter, even though there was that language barrier. So do you think you have anything else that was like that, where just exception of just your natural travel or solo travel in general? [00:14:52] Speaker A: I think the other big thing is people think they can't have fun by themselves. I went ziplining in Mexico, and I have a fear of heights. Went on one of the tallest zip lines, if not the tallest zip line in Mexico, and I had an absolute blast all by myself. I think that is one of the biggest misconceptions, is that you have to have people around you in order to have fun. You can have fun all by yourself. I think people are just afraid to do that. And I certainly was too, right? Like, I waited all these years for people to travel with me. I could have been just traveling by myself, and instead I was always waiting for the perfect time or for the perfect person to come along with me and share in the experience, which I think is nice, but it's not required. And I feel like people think it's required to have someone travel with you. You can totally have so much fun by yourself. So much fun by yourself. [00:16:01] Speaker B: You are on the same train here. Because it just leads to my next couple of questions. And I agree, by the way. I think not only just in travel, though, you can have just so much. It's so hard sometimes to get everybody to like the same thing and wanted to do the same thing and then schedules and all that. You can have fun going to the movies by yourself. You can have fun eating out by yourself. Do all these things. Doesn't necessarily have to have it. But that leads into the next part, we're saying, like, in a world where it often emphasizes social connections, how do you balance the solitude of solo travel with the desire for human interaction? And what advice do you have for listeners seeking similar balance? [00:16:47] Speaker A: So I think that's a great question, because as wonderful as I'm going to make solo travel sound, there are times in particular in this last trip I went during thanksgiving, I made a very conscious decision to travel while my kids were out of town and use that time for myself. So what was a little difficult, I will say, and I don't know if difficult is the right word, but I will say that having Thanksgiving in Mexico, when everyone is with their families, there was a little bit of loneliness there. But I also think that when I felt maybe pangs of loneliness, I would just strike up conversations with people. But it was kind of within my control on whether or not I wanted to do that, to have just a little bit of social interaction, but still enough where I could be and do my own things. I think another great example of that in Mexico was I took a tour of tulum. I went to Guacamao to go snorkel with turtles and starfish. And when I got on the bus in the morning, it looked a little awkward because it was like two couples in the back, two couples off to the side, and then there was me, and they're like, are you here by yourself? And I'm like, yeah, I am. There were times like that where maybe it might feel a little awkward, but at the same time, on that same trip, they, as couples, were, like, arguing. Like, one guy didn't want to be there. His mask didn't fit. It was too hot. It was to this, it was to that. And I was like, I'm here, and I ain't got to listen to none of that shit from anybody. I'm just like, happy as Larry, snorkeling with the turtles, turtle swimming through my legs, having a total experience while these couples are off to the side, like bickering or getting tired or whatever issues that they were having. So there's also these beneficial moments like that where it's like, I'm glad I don't have to put up with that. I don't have to worry about what anyone else wants to do. It's strictly about what I want to do. And if I want to talk to people, I will. And if I don't feel like it, I won't. [00:19:19] Speaker B: Considering all your travel, when you think of solo versus social, do you see the benefits of solo travel comparing to traveling with others as equal? Just obviously they have both pros and cons. Or do you see as one way and more better than the other? And what unique advantages do you think solo travel offers that group travel might not. [00:19:48] Speaker A: For me, solo travel, since I have started doing it, is now a must in my life. I think at least once a year I just want to go, and I want to have this total reset of my mind. And I think the best way to do that for me is by way of solo travel. So, of course I enjoy going on trips. But, for example, some of the other trips I took earlier this year, I took my kids on a cruise. That was nice. But at the same time, it's borrowed time because they don't want to go ziplining. They don't want to spend all day at the beach. They don't want to eat sushi three days in a row. There's so many things that they don't want to do, and especially to find things that they want to do collectively is a challenge. So it's less of a vacation and more of a trip. Similarly, when earlier in the year I went to Vegas, I met my friend and her husband out there. That was nice. But again, you have competing priorities. Maybe the husband doesn't want to go do what we want to do, or they don't want to eat where I want to eat, or he doesn't want to go to a club, and I want to go to a club. So it's like you can have a great time with people. I enjoy traveling with other people, but I think this is the year that I stop letting it be the reason that I don't travel. I learned that I can travel by myself and have a phenomenal time. [00:21:26] Speaker B: Your eldest is staring you down hard. [00:21:29] Speaker A: Why are you staring me down so hard? [00:21:32] Speaker B: The truth comes out. [00:21:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. You stay home next time. No. If it was a trip for all of us, then I wasted a lot of money on a trip. [00:21:45] Speaker B: No, but I agree. I think when I was in Vegas last, it's very similar. Even just as a couple, you want to do things, and maybe you're used to things in how travel goes or if you've experienced things before that the other hasn't, and they take it a little bit differently. They start complaining about one thing or the other, or you start meeting up with other people and they want to do things that you don't want to do. [00:22:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:12] Speaker B: Can you share a challenging or unexpected situation you faced during solo travel and how you navigated through it and what lesson you learned? [00:22:21] Speaker A: Oh, man. Well, there's no other story than the time I was in Mexico and was almost abducted. That was a little story. That story was a bit interesting. I was staying at a pretty nice, very nice resort in Mexico, and a guy approached me all night long. People were taking the chairs for me, and so I thought the guy wanted to just take a chair, and he's like, no, I want to sit down and talk to you. And I was like, okay. And so he sat down and he was talking, and then the conversation just got really. You know, first he was from Houston, like I was. Then he was a canadian resident, and then he was in Mexico trying to teach surfing, but he doesn't even know how to know. He's like, why would I teach people how to surf? I don't even know how to surf yet. I got to figure it out myself. Just a very strange man. And it threw me off because he's pretty well dressed. Until he started telling me the story about how the US government took his passport in Mexico, even though he's from. I'm like, okay. You know, there were some things in his story that were just not adding up and very strange. And so I said, well, how long have you been here? And so he said, a month. I'm like, oh, my gosh. A month at this hotel? That's got to be super expensive. He's like, I'm not staying here. I'm like, what do you mean you're not staying at this resort? And he's like, no. He's like, I was staying at hostels, and now I'm homeless. I'm like, okay, so how are you in this resort right now? Who are you a guest of? And he looks at me, and he's like, hoping I can be a guest of yours. You never seen me speak Spanish so fast in my life, and I am not by any stretch fluent, but I flagged someone down like my life depended on it to get this guy away from me. Very strange. It did kind of sour a little bit just of the trip in the moment, because at that point, for the first time as a solo traveler, felt a little unsafe. But I did not want to let it ruin my entire trip and recognize that the lesson is to keep your head on a swivel. You're in a foreign country, even if you're not necessarily in a foreign country. But for me, it was like, you're in a foreign country. You need to be mindful. You need to be careful about telling people your name, your whereabouts. I just initially assumed this guy was a hotel guest until I really started to take a look at him, and I noticed how black the bottom of his feet were from walking around. I think somebody gave him clothes that made him appear like he was a hotel guest, but he was not. And so for me, there was just a hard earned lesson there. Solo traveling can be so many great things, but you also need to be mindful and be careful because you're all by yourself. Keep yourself in open areas. I personally did not go to any of the party bars. I had thought about it that night and then quickly changed my mind when, you know, meeting that guy in a controlled environment was scary. I couldn't imagine being at Coco Bongo, which is the. One of the famous clubs out there on the strip of Cancun and getting roofy or something like that. So I think it was just a really good reminder and lesson about have fun, but be safe, be aware of your surroundings and what you're doing. [00:26:23] Speaker B: Do you think that also goes to maybe not announce that you're solo traveling? [00:26:28] Speaker A: Yes, Richard. It also begs the question that I should not have told him I was a solo traveler, but my guard was down. I thought he was staying at the hotel, so I really didn't think twice to be like, yeah, I'm here by myself, to your point, announce that. So there's also that, too. You don't have to go to announce to the world that you're solo traveling. Be mindful, be safe. [00:26:56] Speaker B: Just enjoy that. [00:26:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:58] Speaker B: To yourself. Solo travel often opens up opportunities for connecting with locals. Can you share a memorable interaction with a local that had a profound impact on your trip? [00:27:09] Speaker A: I'll go back. Since I've talked a lot about Mexico, I'll go back to London. In London, I was down in the dumps. I had just gotten dumped. And I just wanted to, one believe in myself that I could travel on my own, but start to also work on this idea of self worth and self value. And so the first night that I got in London, I did go out to the bars and to some jazz clubs and different things like that. And there was just this one moment after several. It was so weird, too. Like, several people in London in one night, like, five or six guys tried to pick up on me, which is crazy because in the, like, no one ever says anything to me. So it was already, like a bit of an ego boost. But then it is honestly, like 03:00 in the morning. I just finished hanging out and closing out at a jazz bar that I went to that played phenomenal jazz called Ronie Scott's. And I'm walking back to my hotel, and this guy in a tiny car in like, a mini Cooper or something comes and he's know, like, where are you going? Can I give you a ride? And I'm like, no, you cannot give me a ride. And he comes around anyway, drives around the corner, and he pulls over. And for whatever reason, I'm not really, to be honest, I sized him up. I felt like I could take him. It wasn't going to be a big deal. But he got out of the car and he's like, where are you going? What are you doing? And I was like, yeah, I came out here. I got dumped and I came out here. I'm just hanging out in London trying to run, right? And he's like, oh, my gosh. He's like, that's so sad. He runs to his car, and here's where I'm like, oh, my gosh, something not good is going to happen. He cranks his radio all the way up, comes back out and starts dancing with me under a streetlight. It was something out of a movie, and it just made me laugh and made me so happy and made me realize that there are good people in the world, all over the world. This guy doesn't know me from anybody. And to just want to see a smile on my face like a total stranger caring about a smile on my face just really warmed my heart and made me realize I was going to be okay. There's really nothing for me to run from. And so I think it's just this moment. I did not see him any further than that. I made it a point that I was there not to try to pick up guys or anything like that. I was genuinely there to solo travel, but it was just this really special, cool moment. My first day in London. [00:30:06] Speaker B: That did sound like some kind of movie scene. [00:30:09] Speaker A: No, it was. Then I went across the street and another guy was like, where are you from? And he was from Texas, but he was very young, so I was like, no, sorry. [00:30:18] Speaker B: Just on the learning curve of it. When you're thinking of never solo traveling have before, what skills or qualities do you think you developed through solo travel that you might not have gained in other life experiences? [00:30:33] Speaker A: I think you brought up a good one earlier. Is this thought of rolling with the punches? That's something that I'm not that good at. I tend to be a very structured and routined person, and there came a point in both trips that I've taken so far, and I hate to use this word, but it's like you have to pivot and that's okay. You can plan for whatever you're going to plan for, but if it rains or if something happens, it's still okay. It may not be ideal, but I think that is one thing that I've learned massively over these two trips, is to be less about control and be more a little bit about, let's just see what happens and let's take it from there and have the freedom to make those decisions, to do that. Because in my everyday life, I'm making decisions all day long. I'm making them at work, I'm making them at home, I'm making them outside of home for myself. And it's very taxing. It's very hard on the soul. And so I think that's something that is important to me that I didn't learn until I started solo traveling. What it really means to take care of yourself. [00:31:59] Speaker B: Plus kids, all those challenges and decisions to make for them. School. [00:32:07] Speaker A: So you're making decisions all day long. It's like what solo travel does is gives you the permission to make the decisions for yourself, but on a total freeing level. [00:32:20] Speaker B: When you think of. I do like to say I think we're both pretty good as far as. I don't know if you want to have different perspective, but you definitely push off not caring for the judgment of others. And I think that's generally how a lot of people should carry themselves. But I think sometimes when you're looking to promote solo travel, you might face some stereotypes or judgments from people. So you could be talking to somebody, and our mom probably is someone very kind, very similar to where you'll get like, oh, that's kind of nice. Kind of experience from them. I'm talking about taking a trip. Oh, that's nice for you. [00:33:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:07] Speaker B: But what do you think about those kind of stereotypes, and how do you handle them? Or do you think you just, if you do run across them, how do you think about those associated with solo travel? And what do you wish people understood better about it so that they wouldn't judge people based on if they want to take a trip by themselves? [00:33:29] Speaker A: I think not even just taking a trip by yourself, but sometimes people will give you the side eye if you're eating in a restaurant by yourself. As if. [00:33:36] Speaker B: I know. Right? [00:33:37] Speaker A: As if you don't like, oh, my God, look at this poor soul who can't get one person to come sit down with them. I think that there's so much dependency in today's society to be so connected with your phone, with social media, with all these different things that we feel like we have to be connected, or who are we if we're not? And I think that's one of the biggest things where it's like, a lot of people that I've met in London, in Paris, in Mexico, while solo traveling, cannot even fathom the idea of somebody choosing to travel by themselves. So I get a lot of people that were just like, you're in Mexico. Where's your family? They're back at home. Okay, but who are you here with? No, I'm here by. But you're here by yourself. Oh, my. And I'm like, yeah, that's so brave. Is it really brave to go travel somewhere and be with yourself? And I think that's just it. People can't fathom the idea of having fun by themselves. Honestly, I think that's why we settle in relationships. I think that's why some people just are more extroverted because they can't be alone, because they're fearful of being alone with their thoughts and ideas and emotions. But when you solo travel, there are periods like that. And that's why I say, I think it's good for the soul, because you can really start to work through all that while also having a good time on your time. But most people, they can't fathom they can't wrap their head around the idea of going somewhere by yourself. You said earlier, movies. I've gone to movies by myself. I went to a whole theme park in Mexico by myself. Do you know how amazing that was? I hear people, like, the kids are crying, there's couples arguing, there's people complaining how hot it is. I don't care. I got on every last one of those rides, and I paid for the photo package, so all my pictures are, like, by myself. And I had such a great time to not have to worry about any of that. But I think so many people are afraid of being looked at, of being stared at. Yeah, there was a lot of people that looked and stared. It's okay. It doesn't bother me. It really doesn't bother me. [00:36:27] Speaker B: I think that's kind of more of a positive stereotype to it where they're thinking you're brave, which might feel good to some people. I think it's also to think about, you might get people to think that you're being a little selfish when you're really not. Especially if you're not. Like, if you're looking to get just one or two trips out of the year when you have so many other things going on, so many decisions, like you're saying it's not about being selfish, it's about just considering yourself and just your mental health. And I think that's the misconception, too, that there are a stereotype that you get to it. Like, oh, you just take yourself on a trip. It's not really the case. And I think people just are quick to judge people on that kind of thing. And it's not really something that you shouldn't have to listen to it. If you're looking at solo traveling, don't be afraid about people thinking that you're being selfish. It's not selfish. It's just something you should be doing for yourself. [00:37:32] Speaker A: I literally went to Mexico on Thanksgiving, like the whole week of Thanksgiving. And I don't care how selfish people think that is. It is selfish because if you want the best and most helpful and most proactive and most thoughtful version of me, the way that I'm going to achieve that is this idea. Like they tell you on a plane, put your oxygen mask on first so that you're in the best position to help others. And that is why I think for me, solo travel, if you want to call it selfish, that's fine. But for the rest of this year and for probably a good six to seven months after you're going to get the best version of me because I have taken that time to recharge and reset myself. Otherwise, I'm home, I'm not solo traveling and I'm miserable and I'm crabby towards everyone and I'm making rash decisions and I'm burned out, I'm gassed out, I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm all of these things because I have not taken time for myself to reset. No one else can reset you. You have got to reset yourself and not apologize for it. Especially if you want to be able to be in the best position to help others. How you do that is you take care of yourself first. [00:39:02] Speaker B: I think you mentioned before a lot about people getting into social media, especially with the age of smartphones and how much is going on with there. With the constant connectivity of social media, how do you strike a balance between staying connected and still being fully immersed in yourself, into your solo travel experience? [00:39:26] Speaker A: I think it's great to take moments and take photos and reflect and share that with people on your travels, but don't let it be all consuming. Don't be on your phone the entire time because you will take away from the experience, snap a few pictures, post a little video and then move on rather than staying on your phone the entire time. I will tell you something very challenging that I did work on this second time in particular was while I was eating dinner by myself or while I was on the beach. Not to get into the habit of just sitting there and scrolling because it was something to do. I think a simple example of that where you see that happening a lot is in an elevator. We're talking like a 32nd ride and some people can't even say a hello. It's much easier for them to just dig and be in their phone than to have to interact with another person. And so it's the same thing. There were times where I'm on this beautiful beach, beautiful, beautiful beachfront, and I'm tempted to pick up my phone and start scrolling and I would have to tell myself like, isabelle, look at this beach in front of you. It's incredible. You're not going to get this moment back. Put the phone down. The social medias are going to be there. The people are, everything is going to be there. Focus on being in this present moment. This present moment. You have an incredible view. Enjoy it. And so even at dinner, same thing. I didn't want to just keep scrolling. It's a little harder at dinner to kind of focus on things because you're just sitting there by yourself. But even those times, too, was like, really be present. What are the sounds that I hear? What are the things that I see? And just be totally observant and aware of where you are in the present moment. [00:41:31] Speaker B: When you think about the return home, kind of like the reverse culture shock to it when you navigate the transition back to everyday life, especially after your first solo travel, this big experience that you've now just had this whole new thing come up to, what advice do you have for our listeners that are probably thinking about maybe now their first solo travel? What are they going to do when they get post travel and how do they get back to their normal life? How do you reset kind of back into them? [00:42:06] Speaker A: I think for me, I was on cloud nine when I was coming back. I was so excited to now share the different experiences that I had with people at home. So while it's very enjoyful to solo travel, at some point you do want to get reconnected, but you're starting from this place of just sheer joy and excitement to share your experiences with others. And so I think that's one thing is kind of, as you begin to wind down from your solo travel, generate the excitement about sharing your experiences with other people. And again, if you do it right, you just come back refreshed, recharged, somebody spills milk and you're like, you're still off of the high of just having that time and being so flexible and so relaxed that it's almost like it's an easy transition because you come back a little, for me, at least, like a little bit more carefree, and then life continues to build back up. And that's why I think at least once, maybe twice a year, it's like a great reset because when I got back to work from both trips, I was like, in go mode. I was so focused, I was so refreshed. I had such a clear mind. I had ideas flowing just off of the energy of the trip. So if I would say anything, I would say take the energy that you just got the energy excitement from doing that and transfer it into your everyday life. Keep the momentum, keep the energy of that. [00:44:04] Speaker B: I like that. And I think that that's generally very good, just in the sense of even just having time off of work may not obviously be more refreshing with solo travel because you're away from all the household responsibilities, but just being off, like a time off of work, a few days, a long extended weekend, you do get that little bit of reset and recharge, and then that's just probably amplified by. If you experience that, it's probably amplified by solo travel. [00:44:38] Speaker A: Well, I would say even more so because when you have those extra days off of work, even if you stay home and do a staycation, you're tending to the yard. Well, yeah, you're folding socks, you're getting all of these admin things of life done. Yes, it's fine. Good to accomplish it. But you're not truly resetting yourself. The solo travel enables you to truly reset and recharge. [00:45:04] Speaker B: Well, that's what I'm saying. I think if you have ever experienced that extended weekend kind of feel recharge, the solo travel probably would give you ten times. [00:45:15] Speaker A: It's like on crack. Not a good idea to do either. [00:45:23] Speaker B: When you're thinking of the future of solo travel, given the evolving nature of travel and society, how do you see the landscape of solo travel changing in the future? And what trends of developments do you anticipate? [00:45:41] Speaker A: I still think that. I don't know that I would necessarily consider this true solo traveling, but I will say this. There has been an ad coming up lately, and I think at a minimum, I don't know if it will be considered my solo trip, but one that I'm looking into and really love the idea about is this trip where they build out an entire week around vacation and fitness. And that's exciting to me because one thing that I do do as part of the solo travel, when I was in London, I took boxing lessons. I also went for jogs in London and Paris. When I was in Cancun, I went for jogs. I stayed very active because I just want that to be a part of my daily life. And so these trips that are being offered, it's like, yeah, come by yourself, but meet other like minded people who also like to do activities. And so I'm looking forward to that. I don't know that I might count it as a solo trip, but I do think that that's kind of like the trend where it's, yeah, take this vacation and we'll curate an entire trip for you based around your interest. I could see a lot more of that happening. I don't know if they have something like that, let's say for Harry Potter, maybe they have a trip that you can take that's like total Harry Potter theme that you don't necessarily need to bring someone else. You could do that by yourself, but then also be with other like minded people that also like Harry Potter. So there's like an instant potential to connect with others, but also be on the trip by yourself if that's what you want to. [00:47:39] Speaker B: And I'm done with my set of questions. But just in that line of response to that, do you think it counts for solo cruises when they do, like, a solo cabin? Yeah. Well, not so much when you're thinking of singles cruises. That's what I meant. So you're going solo, but it's like, intentionally. [00:48:07] Speaker A: Yeah, because you're intentionally going. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. I've made it a point both trips, not to be out there, not to be running from anything, and certainly not to be looking for anything. So when I'm talking, like, solo travel, I am talking true solo travel. I may conversate with you here and there, but I'm not seeking anything but enjoyment. I think you could certainly do like a singles or solo cruise, but it is going to be different because you've got an environment baked in to promote connection, and I don't think that's a bad thing. I think you could definitely still go, let's say, and do a solo cruise. And again, choose to have fun and interact when you want to interact and have fun. But you can also choose to do things by yourself and be just as happy. Because I think that, for me, is what cements the idea of solo travel, is that I can do these things and be just as happy, if not more, doing them by myself. [00:49:23] Speaker B: How many more stories do you think you have that are just hidden and delayed as I feel like you hide stories about life. [00:49:33] Speaker A: Oh, because I told you the Michelle Obama one the other day. [00:49:35] Speaker B: Yeah, that's also the reason I was asking or saying why delayed stories? You delayed that one for years. [00:49:43] Speaker A: Like 20 years ago. [00:49:45] Speaker B: For weeks. For weeks. It's like, how many more do you feel like you've ultimately just have a good amount of life experiences that you have, like, a lot of stories that could. [00:50:01] Speaker A: I have a ridiculous amount of life stories and life experiences that I don't share because I don't want to come off as braggadocious. I don't want to come off as like, I think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread because I've had these opportunities and experiences, so I don't often share them unless I really feel compelled in some way to do that. I do think with the solo travel, though, I have pretty much shared a lot of those stories more than anything to encourage people to do it less about, like, oh, look at know. I'm not even joking. That first night in Paris, like, ten dudes try to pick and it was the craziest thing. And so that might not sound like a great story to my brother, but when you're sitting in a room for dinner, you're like, and ten guys try to, and it's just like, wow. It was super cool in the way that each of them were happening. But I did find myself with the solo travel, being more willing and to share these stories and experience not as something to brag about, but something to share in hopes to inspire others to do it. [00:51:18] Speaker B: Yeah. And I think that's helpful to understand, too, for anybody that's looking to solo travel. As we were talking about the judgments or any kind of perception you might draw from negatively from anybody else, you should be able to share those moments. And hopefully it'll just like, as you're trying to do now, incite somebody to maybe look into doing your soul travel and expand their experiences for life and betterment. [00:51:50] Speaker A: I will say one of the things that I think is super important to think about, if someone is thinking about doing it, but scared. Leading up to that trip to London and Paris, I had this paralyzing anxiety about, like, I cannot believe that I just booked this trip. What was I thinking? What am I going to do? I don't know anybody. If I think that I'm going to go out to London and Paris for a week, I better learn how to sit in a restaurant, re acclimate myself with sitting in a restaurant or sitting in a bar by myself. And so the gym that I go to, there was an event. I went by myself. I bombed. Like, I just struggled to connect with people. I had a group of people talking to me, then they walked away. And I just remember embarrassingly, in that moment leaving, I left the event. I was just so overwhelmed and so, to be honest, like, introverted that I was like, oh, my gosh. I'm like, how the hell am I going to go to a different country? I can't even be here in America, in Texas and make friends or, like, good conversation. How am I going to do it in another place? And so after I left the gym event, I was like, you know what? I'm just going to go to a bar and I'm just going to try again. And if I just sit there, I just need to learn how to just sit there by myself and be okay with it. And so I went to this bar and I ordered a drink. Within a few minutes, these older women were like, are you here by yourself? And I'm like, yeah, usually most of the time when people come to talk to me, I swear, it's like they're trying to take the extra seats. Like, they're like, oh, can we use this chair? And then they're like, oh, you're here by yourself. And I ended up having a phenomenal evening with these two women were just sweet as pie. Invited me in their circle. We were dancing around, we were listening to music, having a great time, and it was just like, all right, I can do this here. I can do this anywhere. So there was a lot of mental prep going into that first trip, and I think it was helpful for me to remember on the second one that I just took as well. There are going to be moments of silence. There's going to be moments of awkwardness, but who cares? You just do it anyway. And I would say the other thing separate of that is if you decide to solo travel, make that trip, like, minimum three to four days. Minimum three to four days. Don't just try to do like, an overnight, because you literally, if you're used to being around people, if you have kids, if you're married, if you're whatever, in a relationship, you're going to have to acclimate yourself to being by yourself and recognizing and accepting. Like, in these moments, you have total free will and choice to do whatever it is you want. That's going to take you a little bit. It's going to take you a couple of days for you to really settle into the idea of being able to make choices for yourself by yourself. [00:55:08] Speaker B: I think also from your stories, I would suggest that if you're looking at international travel, while you don't need the conquered language, probably a quick, hey, I'm in trouble. Danger, danger. Stranger danger. Might not be term to learn. [00:55:26] Speaker A: Yeah, I am very mindful. I will also say this when it comes to my solo traveling, picking locations that are notoriously safe for solo travelers. So obviously it's no knock, but there is not a time that I will likely solo travel intentionally to Dubai by myself. I think that is a trip I would need to take with another person, or I would like to take with another person or Mexico City. Mexico City. 26th street in Chicago. Like, there are certain places that I'm just not going to go by myself because they may not be safe anywhere. Cannot be safe. Okay. But there are some places, especially in foreign travel, where you want to be mindful of what the climate is. Like, the current climate. It was risky for me to go to Paris when they were having their strikes because there was a protest. There was a protest that I had to escape getting on a train in Paris. I was coming down. The was did not sound friendly at all. I'm like, all right, I need to get out of here. So I think you should take those types of things into consideration. One place that I would like to solo travel that I have heard is very safe for solo travelers is Costa Rica. But again, there's other places that I might avoid going by myself or not knowing anyone. So there is a bit of freedom, but you also have to have a bit of smarts about it as well. So those are kind of my tips and experiences on solo travel. I really do hope that you try it at least one time. Give it to yourself at least one time. It's going to be scary. It's going to be nerve wracking, but man, is it freeing. And does it feel good to just go out there and do whatever you want to do and not have to worry about anything else? And the bonus is in the process, you may even find or learn a little bit more about yourself, which is an amazing thing. Until next time in remember, every day above ground is a great day. Bye.